Hinata's Journal
by Okamimaru
Summary: Everyone has a hidden dark side, one that desires and craves. Some are vocal, Hinata just writes her's down. Please Read & Review
1. Chapter 1

**Entry 1:**

**Hinata POV:**

The water flows as I sink into it's depths. A distant chill hits, fallowed by searing pain. It courses through me filling every vein, every blood cell. Natural inborn instinct commands me to flee, but since when am I impulsive? Instead I stay and sit allowing hell's fire to cleanse my body. The tub filled to my ribs, steam evanescing off.

So much agony, pleasure locked within, no need to test fate.

Agony? Pleasure…? Such a slim line between, so much that it barely even fits into existence. Unable to retain a solid shape without the other's assistance. Tell me I'm wrong, I beg of you! None the less there's no chance of that! After all , deep in the darkest corners of everyone's deprived sanctioned mind, the knowledge surrenders itself. Still doubting? Still arguing? Then consider this perhaps if you're infact capable.

Why does a person return to the one who abuses them? Return to be beaten, stabbed, shook, riped inside and out… Resisting the prize of freedom, fighting the angel's arms! Cursing them! As if they were the demon beating blood out of the living.

Or hate and like one who molests and manipulates? The victim despising and craving the touch, the total control. Then sickened with self-disgust. Possessing no will power to stop the mind games, hating and loving it all the same.

When bitten on the neck, at first resisting. Then melting , succumbing to the excastey. Complaining to hide the desire within. To sink their fangs into the flesh of another.

Such a heaven I devour in the place I sit. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, wash clothes, and a razor creating a barrier between the real world and my delicate mind. One wrong move could send it shattering molding into the tile floor.

A door opens and shuts somewhere downstairs; times up. Drenched in sweat as if having gone through one last passionate fuck, beads swim down my stomach. Shimmering in the bathroom's lights I catch sight of myself in the mirror. My indigo locks tossled and face flushed with lust. The tips of my hair dripping water. But before it grasps the valley of my breasts, its dried away.

Moving the towel skillfully and vigorously, not a trace to be left of my bliss. They won't take this away; stop the pain. Stop the flames from scorching my pearl colored skin into a pink shade.

Oh no…they may have stolen my sanity and will to live, but never this.

All traces gone, my throat parched and painfully dry. I'm thirsty. Thirsty for the roughness. Don't hold back, just thrust your agony into me, for its my addiction and you my medication.

**Okamimaru:**

Lately I've been experimenting with different topics and writing styles. Here's one of my newest ideas. Please review. I'll just be blunt I won't continue this story if no one seems to like it. Sooo...feedback people. Please?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hinata's Feelings At Church:**

Voices. Laughter, arguing, venom...all the sounds of life are present. But they're so far away. Everything's so distant, so numb. Sort of when you put cotton into your ears, then take it out a few minutes later, everything becomes so much more vibrant, more colorful! But if you leave it in, things are fuzzy, meaningless, dull.

I'm surrounded by hundreds of people and yet I feel so cold and alone. My heart pounding so intently that it's vibrations send shivers throughout my body. I can feel all color and vibrancy seep away... To any onlooker I'm a recluse, loner, one who enjoys treading in its misery, too stuck in misfortune to move forward.

But oh how everyone's wrong! I'm caught in pain's vicegrip by the throat, waiting for some kind soul, to simply look beyond those cold eyes, and reach out!

Fear and loneliness, hopelessness are the very aspects engraving into my bones, right down to the marrow of them. I'm not cruel or cold by nature, in fact I'm quite pleasant and nothing short of sweet! Bitter winds and harsh words have long since made my heart flourish cold.

**Okamimaru:**

Sorry this entry is so short. It was supposed to be longer. I got inspired one day after returning home from church and started writing, only to be interupted, I was never able to regain the inspiration. So I simply left it as it is.


End file.
